SoulMates

I started this blog at the inception of our marriage and travels with my husband, Dustin in 2014. As with any courting stage and marriage ceremony, our union was absolutely breathtaking. We wed in the rain on April 17th, 2014 although it wasn't quite rain but more of a divine mist that coated his hair and shoulder in water droplets and allowed the white to glow and our auras to expand and project our souls for the naked eye to see. There were 3 marriage rounds and at the end of each one, we brought our hands together at heart center and bowed to one another in agreement and then bowed to those around us as witnesses of our journey together. When we kissed for the first time as husband and wife, our lips met for so long that the cheers died down and then voices cheered again, our lips still locked, hearts joined. And this is where Two Yogis One Love was born. 

I felt like we could do anything together. I felt that my dreams of wandering adventures and sustainable, off the grid, other-than-everyday living had just begun. I felt like I had been touched by the hand of God, that coursing through my veins was eternal Love and Light, that this day and this man had been created for me, for us, to change the world.

From the moment we met, Dustin brought me closer to God. It was something I felt in his stillness, in his kindness, in his heart and his love. Dustin was reared in the church and was surrounded by the positive messages of God's love and the healing powers of Jesus while I had my first experience of God when I was 27 years old. I always appreciated and respected this difference in our upbringing and felt incredibly blessed to have married a man with such deep running faith.

Dustin continues to bring me closer to God, in ways I never imagined. As our travels and life together unfolded, we experienced hardships and conflict that we were not prepared  to handle. Shakespeare said, "expectation is the root of all heartache" and yet expectation is everywhere even if you don't intend it to be: intertwined in society's idea of courting and marriage, intertwined in the roles of "husband" and "wife"... 

Dustin and I separated this past November and the last 5 months have been a painful unraveling of expectations, promises, confusion, misunderstanding and overall heartbreak for both parties, equally and for different reasons. The word divorce is so bitter on my tongue and it comes with so much confusion because marriage is hardly just a legal agreement.  Marriage is a soul contract, a merging of two people into one soul, the highest form of yoga. And as this word divorce preys upon our union like a stalking, starving Bengal Tiger, I realize that what a court can undo cannot be undone in the higher realms. And it is these thoughts that bring me the most confounded thoughts and emotions because I would not undo our soul agreement and I do not know how to pick up and move on without my other half. It could very well be that legally divorcing is the best thing for our relationship, as our relationship will not end with the dissolution of marriage. This is what it means to be a soulmate. 

I believe people think soulmates are idealistic and perfect, the person you should always be with, the person you meet and feel like you have always known. My experience with Dustin has been true in that way but has also taught me different: your soulmate is bound to your soul, they have been for many lives and will continue to be, ad infinitum. As our incarnations unfold and we live different lives to learn different lessons, your soul mate will be present in each life, helping you to learn the lessons you are there to learn and many of those lessons will be painful. It is in those painful lessons where we grow the most, it is through the ashes that we arise anew. 

I feel immense sadness and sorrow as this lesson lands the hardest of all. True to the form of Dustin bringing me closer to God, I find myself in prayer and seeking out the healing hand of Jesus to move me through these times. I find comfort in the idea that "what you seek is also seeking you". Maybe we will be able to meet the challenge of our soul's union in this life or perhaps it will have to wait for another. At this time, 2 years into our marriage and 3 1/2 years into our relationship, I feel like we have lived a lifetime together. I don't know what is to come of two yogis one love and I chose to give it to God as this is the only true place my heart can safely dwell. 

I feel sorry I let you down, Dustin even in considering divorce. I feel sorry to my friends and family who stood to witness the rise and perhaps fall of our union. Thank you all for your continuous love.  May God be with us together and apart. 

New Blog with New Intentions

Hello to my beloved readers of TwoYogisOneLove,

Stepping into creation in the year of 2016, I have started a new blog with new intentions.. I am not closing the door on TwoYogisOneLove, but am giving it space to create in other avenues. I love all the comments I have received and I love that you have stopped in when there wasn't anything updated to read. I will be revisiting TwoYogisOneLove from time to time and will also be posting regularly on my new blog: ElevatedWord.

Please stop by and again, thank you for your love and readership. 

One Love.

Sea Salt and Whiskey

Today was certainly a day. Perhaps I could call it “one of those days”, whatever that means… because it was a day so unlike most others. I woke up to my alarm and shut it off in my sleep, waking up late. I was in a pretty silly mood this morning, making airplane engine noises as I took corners of the apartment. It’s beautiful out, mid-70’s breezy San Antonio day. ‘I should re-route my whole day and just go long board riding’, I thought. That’s not a good idea, so much needs to be done today, I wrote my extensive list out the night before, including boxes for completed check marks on the ready.

I ate breakfast and went through my day’s check list in my head to make sure I had all the necessary items for a long day out of the house. Yoga mat, PRI meeting, change of clothes, shoes. Got it, got it, got it, got it, Bam- out the door and rolling, headed to check the PO Box and grab a cup of coffee at Central Market.

This is where my first metaphor unveiled itself: as I walked out of the post office, coffee in hand,  I didn’t have a clue where I parked my car. Usually, I can recall a specific memory from arriving that can trigger me as to where I’d pulled in: a bird perched on the return cart stahl or an encounter with a nice old lady at the entrance. Usually, there is something there to hint me to the area and today, there was nothing. I chalked it up to the fact that I was lost in my thoughts and to try to be more present while I wandered up to cars that weren’t mine and did a lap around a truck because I couldn’t even remember which side of the parking lot I was parked on. “I am on the path to my car”, I told myself and it didn’t matter how many laps around the parking lot I’d do, eventually I would find my car. Such is life, I thought to myself when I spotted my car clear across the cement parking lot.

Found my car and upon entering and putting on my seatbelt, I realized I had left my phone in my apartment. Oh well, no big deal. I have to go back for it because I need to GPS my next location.  Get back to my phone, grab a drink of water, and throw my longboard into the car “just in case”. Upon GPSing my next location I find that it’s closed. Need to get on a computer, so I must adapt and overcome. With longboard thoughts continuously lingering, I decide to go to Starbucks, internet connection. Can’t take my Central Market coffee into the dining room at Starbucks… grab my reusable Starbucks logo cup, riddle solved and I’m feeling good about myself. Off to connect to the net.

I spent the next 90 minutes connected to the web with an on-going project. I completed my tasks (one of MANY on my aforementioned list) and thought I could sneak in a quick 20 minute longboard ride before I teach yoga to Vets at the VA. Non-Starbucks caffeinated up, I jetted out of there and stopped at the apartment for a quick snack and was arrived at the park in less than 20 minutes which gave me a cool 20 minutes to ride.

I’m new on my longboard, only two rides stand between me and the maiden voyage. I chose this park because everything is relatively flat and it’s a great way to build my confidence on the board, play with balance and pedaling, and the park is beautiful.  I was feeling good, got a good rhythm and before I knew it, I was about ten minutes in to my 20 minute ride, time to turn around. I couldn’t help but wonder about this “blind curve” sign and decided to keep going, just around the bend. There was a really nice dip onto a bridge over the creek and then a blind turn. Awesome, I’ll take it all the way to the top and ride this nice down slope as the beginning to my ride back to the car.

Turned my board around and pushed off and headed around the curve that led down onto a cement bridge while a man on a bike with a helmet approaches the bridge and suddenly where the sidewalk meets the bridge begins to become this large fault line jagged edge right in front of my eyes and I’m picking up speed and there’s a biker and I bailed. I got into my head, made a mountain out of a mole hill, bailed off the board got about 3 big floppy stutter steps in before sliding hands and knees on pavement. From the moment I bailed, I heard myself say, keep your head off the pavement you helmetless fool.

Warren is the name of the man on the bike and he was awfully kind to me. He turned out to be park safety riding around and he packed out a huge first aid kit and helped me clean up my skinned knees and wrecked hands. “Girl, you need to learn how to roll” he said to me. He offered antibacterial salve and bandages and before I knew it, I was back on the board, almost late to the yoga class I had to teach. "How'd it look?" I asked with a smile. He said, "I kept thinking, don't go into the creek, don't go into the creek..." I certainly fell in front of the right person.  

I rode back on my board, feeling pretty confident about getting my first spill behind me and made a list of necessities for my next ride:gloves and helmet... my hands are going to freaking hurt. I got to thinking about the fall itself and psyching myself out and I couldn’t help but wonder, what else have I gotten into fear of and bailed before I knew the outcome, possibly injuring myself or others in the mean time?

Upon arriving to my car, I was moving quickly and carefully as I was about 10 minutes behind schedule, soon to be missing my yoga class with the Vets. I looked at the greasy band aids covering the palms of my hands and pushed the idea of a yoga practice out of my mind with a shake of the head. And bartending? As I pulled out of the parking spot the sound of metal scraping like grinding teeth was the only thing that could be heard. I stopped the car mid-way through my reverse to see that the steel nail that held the cement marker into the ground had connected to the undercarriage of my car and pulled the whole thing off, save one screw.  Is this real life?

Two young men were standing at a car behind me and came forward to look and help. They didn’t speak English and the only thing I could muster in Spanish was “ay Dios mio”. One of the guys got under the car to pull it loose and with a final violent tug , the piece detached and I stuffed it into my car. My ego was taking a beating.  The violent hacking of my car by a steel nail was a bigger sign than I could ignore and I called and cancelled my yoga class as I would never make it in time.  I went home and cleaned my weary wounds with sea salt and whiskey.

Non-dairy Strawberry Chocolate Cheesecake Recipe

I made this DELICIOUS "cheese"cake for Valentines Day and it was so simple and very enjoyable. It is non-dairy so it can hardly be called a cheesecake, but the cashew filling gives it a very similar texture and there are no sugar additives so you can eat it for breakfast guilt-free! Most of the ingredients can be found in the bulk department of your local grocer or health food store. To make this cake, the use of a food processor is highly recommended. 

Crust

 1/2 cup walnuts

1/4 cup almonds

1/4 cup buckwheat flour 

1/4 cup raw cacao powder or cacao nibs 

4 medjool dates de-seeded 

1 teaspoon vanilla extract 

Filling

2 cups cashews

1/2 cup almond milk

1 cup coconut milk 

Juice of 1 lemon

2 medjool dates de-seeded

4 tablespoons coconut oil 

Chocolate layer

5 tablespoons coconut oil 

5 tablespoons cacao powder or nibs

4 tablespoons agave syrup

Garnish

Strawberries and/or raspberries 

Step one: Add all of the crust ingredients into a food processor and blend. The ingredients should have a consistency of a graham cracker crust and it will stick together because of the dates. 

Press the crust into the bottom of a torte pan or pie tin. The crust will only be the bottom layer. Cut strawberries the long way and press the large pieces along the sides of the pan to create the outside layer. 

Step two: In a clean food processor, blend the ingredients for the filling. Pour the filling into the pie crust and spread. 

Step three: Freeze the cake for up to 2 hours until the cake is firm. 

Step four: In a clean food processor, blend the ingredients for the chocolate layer and spread on top. Add the garnish and chill to allow the top layer to set. 

Mad garnishing skill shout-out to my hot'nsexy hubbs, Dustin. Serve and enjoy!

A daily reminder

Inspired by many pieces of uplifting texts, namely, Yogananda's Autobiography of a Yogi and Tsem Rinpoche's Compassion Conquers All, I've written myself a little something as a reminder of how to create my days:

Assign your life meaning.
Greet everyday as it is ceremony.
Say prayers and listen to your inner voice, be guided by your inner light.
Practice renunciation and have less.
Drink, eat, think, and be pure.
Give many blessings and sing before meals.
Vibrate the cosmos and project your energies skyward.
Seek God and God shall be there.
Be present.
Breathe.
Be still Be quiet Be light.
Elevate.



Peace&love

Autobiography of a Yogi reading group

Hello friends! 

Recently, I was treated to a screening of the movie  Awake: The Life of Yogananda who is largely credited with bringing yoga to the West in the 1930's. He brought more than the postural yoga (asana), but taught meditation and communicated the ever-expansive idea of consciousness to a Nuclear-minded America. I have been inspired by the movie to read his text, The Autobiography of a Yogi along with a group of friends. We are meeting virtually and physically to discuss and integrate what we are reading. I will  be hosting the reading group and will post discussion questions to titillate conversation and expand understanding of the text. I'd love to have you join our reading group! 

We have a facebook group that you can join here and I will also be posting about the book here on the blog as well. If you're interested, pick up your copy today; it's a bank-breaking 1.99 for the kindle edition. Your degree of involvement is completely up to you: maybe you just read along and post an inspiring quote that resonated with you or maybe you comment on a posted question. Maybe this is your first introduction to the book and you don't read it for years to come, that's acceptable too! There is definitely a shift of consciousness happening right now and inviting these ancient teachings into your life is a great way to expand your consciousness and to feed your mind, body, heart and soul. 

Here are a few excerpts of reviews that appeared with the publication of the book in 1946: 

San Francisco Chronicle: "In a very readable style... Yogananda presents a convincing case for yoga, and those who 'came to scoff' may remain 'to pray.'"

West Coast Review of Books: "Whatever your own religious beliefs, you'll find Autobiography of a Yogi a joyous affirmation of the power of the human soul."

News-Sentinel, Fort Wayne, Indiana: "Sheer revelation... intensely human account ... should help the human race to understand itself better ... autobiography at its best ... breathtaking... told with delightful wit and compelling sincerity ... as fascinating as any novel."

I do hope you'll join us as we come together as like-minded individuals to encounter all the revelations Yogananda experienced in the company of saints and great masters on his personal journey and realizations of the Divine. 

One Love!

January, mid-point.

The beginning of the year was such a blessing: The Pips moved into our new home in San Antonio and unpacked all of our beautiful wedding gifts to begin our lives together. I was wholly grateful to unpack every little box and reveal every little treasure: I felt the love and support of all of our family and friends at every moment, we are certainly blessed. I also allowed myself to let go of many things so they may be received as gifts upon the next person who owns them. I even let go of books, boxes upon boxes of books. 

It's wonderful to have a place of our own, a yoga room, a sacred space. My bed is amazing after many months of sleeping away and I've been sleeping wonderfully. My Indiokitty and I have been reunited and he is already resistant to my love and adoration. I've started a new job on a new side of town and everything is new. It's fun and jarring and uncomfortable and interesting, the biggest challenge is creating good habits right away. Doesn't that sound like a new years resolution? 

I really love January and the uplifting view of the untraveled year in front of me. Since dedicating my life to yoga in 2012, the new year allows me to reflect on my practice and find additional tools to begin utilizing in the upcoming year. Last year was the integration of the neti-pot and this year is the integration of the tongue scraper. Was that not the coolest sentence ever written?  It's the little things that make the big difference and you'd be surprised at how little Ayurvedic practices can lead up to big changes. 

I've promised myself a sadhana or spiritual practice this year and I've been steady with that promise for 11 days. After being in Guatemala and living in a conscious community where there is intention behind every task, practice and ceremony; I realized I needed to create that meaning here. My sadhana is to take the time to connect to my inner self and to treat each day as a day of ceremony as the sun rises. It's been a really wonderful practice that has seen a much calmer me in the evenings. 

I've started the ball rolling to volunteer and read with 2nd graders to improve their reading skills. I'm working with an organization called SA2020 which is a community vision for San Antonio. It is a list of goals created by the people of San Antonio in 2010 based on their collective vision of our city in the year 2020. It's a wonderful program, they ask for your interests and then suggest service projects that would suit your interests. I'm happy to be in a place in my life where I can designate time to help others.

And my big intention set for the year is to invite clients to my home space and offer private yoga sessions for donation. I have put a lot of thought into pricing and the idea of donation and it boils down to the fact that I could never quantify yoga. I can tell you roughly how much I have spent in training but that price could not contain what was gained from those trainings. Such is yoga. I have taught yoga "for money" and tried to sustain myself with it and I ran myself ragged. I am happy to offer the practice that is in my heart and I am happy to receive what is given to me. For me, when the energies of money is lifted, the real exchange can take place. My first private client is Sunday, living manifestation!

Dpip and I (twoyogisonelove!) are doing our best to home cook this year and it's been so rewarding that I've had to stop myself from taking photos of each meal. But every now and again I just can't help myself. If you're on instagram check me out at Nicolppin and feel free to join my hashtag parties: #livingmanifestation2015 #feedyourself2015 

This life really is a living manifestation and as your eyes scan these words, you are a part of it. Thank you for keeping up, thank you for smiling and for laughing, thank you for showing up when there may not have been anything new to read. Sending love! 

Happy 2015! Here's a Christmas pic from the Pips in PJ pants and my nephew Drew and niece, Rylee. 

pictures are cuter with kiddos!